Not sure if I should post these now or wait, but what the heh, my past is part of what got me here.  These are some good ol' Myspace blogs from about 4 years ago.

a poem:

How do you find self esteem and self worth in this world?
How do you make yourself good when the world is full of evil?
Why do people think they are worth nothing when we are all stained with sin?
We all live a double standard.
No matter how perfect that person seems to you, they make mistakes just like you.
The only value we have is what God sees in us.
The only self esteem is the worth He has placed in us.
The only good we have is sharing that love and value with others to stop their pain...

another poem:

i want to be the one you look up to
the one that makes you care
i want to be the one you care about
the one to make you share
but i don’t know if i can be that person
i don’t know if it will work
everytime i open up and care
someone or everyone gets hurt
how you continue to love and care
how do you follow God’s example
when the good things always bring you trouble
and only being callous keeps you in favour???

  This one was written for someone that I cared about very much and admired in a lot of ways.  However this person seemed to be afraid to open care for people that their friends or whomever would not approve of.  Keep in mind this was strictly a friendship thing.  For various reasons I seem to be the person that everyone loves to be acquainted with, the life of the party if you will, but no one wants to connect with on a deeper level.  Anyway, that probably doesn't make much sense, as I don't even understand it myself.  If I did, I would certainly change it as friendship is one thing I crave and cannot attain in life.

This is a tribute to an amazing young lady that was a student of mine.  She passed away tragically and suddenly.  It was very painful for me and I wanted so bad to write something to try and pay some tribute to her, even though I felt totally inadequate to do so.  Miss ya Brittney!!

Brittney, this is my memorial to you.  A place where we can remember you and say goodbye.  I will remember you as a sweet and kind person who was one of the best students I ever had.  You always did your best and didn't want to let anyone down. 

 

Brittney, why did you have to go...

We will miss your smile and your words,

The way you cared about everyone else.

I try to understand and I ask God why,

Why you had to leave.

You were a straight A student, full of health.

Cut down in your prime.

A great worker, dependable and true.

You were not selfish, were not mean.

and yet, you are gone...

We all love and miss you...

 

Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb. No longer will there be any curse. There will be no more night. The Lord will give them light, and they will reign forever. Behold I am coming soon! My reward is with me and I will give to everyone according to what they have done. I am the beginning and the end. The Spirit and the bride say "Come!" Whoever is thirsty let him come; and whoever wishes, let him take the free gift of the water of live.  And he will wipe away every tear, and there will be no more pain or sorrow. Yes, I am coming soon.